Everything is Amazing, Nobody is Happy

I've heard two of the stand-up albums from Louis C.K. and saw his HBO special about a year ago, but someone turned me onto this short interview he did with Conan before his final show.

What I love about this interview is how candid Louis is.  He's not doing shtick, he's just rolling with his thoughts.  There are comedians that do observational humor but Louis is just...observational.  Besides his skit about the "saddest blowjob in America", below is my favorite bit of his.

But I saw this video at a time when D.C. had just been dumped on/dusted with 7 inches of powder in a 24 hour period.  Apparently the whole metro area freaks out when there is anything more then 2 inches of precip.  I was one of 4 people that came to work yesterday, and the only one that took the metro.  

That's fine with me as I got quite a bit done without much distraction.  But I did hear a lot of people complaining on the streets, in the stores, and on the radio station I listen to.  On the way home I got to hear someone complaining about the Nasa satellite which just crashed into the ocean after an unsuccessful launch.  

Sure NASA has had their issues of scrutiny in the past and this $280 "whoops" isn't gonna help their cause, but as Louis C.K. would say "It's going to f#@%ing space, you non-contributing zilch!"  

These folks on the train wanted NASA to shut down completely and us to spend that money on "things that work instead of crash" as this would clearly help the economy.  

I'm not one to pick sides but I'm just guessing that these people probably use a T.V., a cell phone, or a computer once in a blue moon.  I think the cost to support NASA for every American is $2 a year.  I'm not sure (and I'll look for and post the correct number in an update later), but I think this is about the same cost for the Metro system, and anyone who rides it knows that you can play a great drinking game guessing which elevators and escalators will be out of commission on a given day.

Let NASA stay.  Hell expand their budget.  People that are getting a paycheck every two weeks need to stay a bit happier and maybe consider themselves lucky at this point to have the ability/obligation/right to pay taxes for these programs.

But in the mean time keep the filter off your thoughts.  I prefer people that just "spray" whatever is on their mind rather then filter it.  Kinda like Mickey Rourke.....I mean this is how you give a fuckin awards speech Hollywood!  Start taking notes!!!

Angler's Inn Bouldering (...with apologies to Tony Bennett)

I broke a promise to myself to get a post in once a week.

On the plus side, I'm still receiving paychecks. As Bill Murray would say "So I got that going for me.....which is nice."

I figure since this is a climbing blog that I should put something up about climbing.

Ben and I went bouldering a few weekends ago on the Maryland side of great falls. It was sunny but there was snow on everything we climbed. This sun also led to significant melt that would drip onto the holds. Combine this with top outs on slushy ice and you have Maryland winter bouldering. This time last year I distinctively remember being in the Queen Creek, AZ area getting a tan.

AZ - Where winter should be spent

Here are a couple videos put together by the lovely Mr. J (also the other climber in this video) over at "Go Big or Go Home".

These routes go as maybe V1 and maybe V3+ at most. I'll admit to the V3 taking 5 tries to send since I was wiping snow off of my hands and shoes in between climbs. This also makes it hard to judge ratings.....surprisingly. (Just skip to the 4:40 mark in the second video to watch me slip on the ice and make an ass out of myself. It's the only redeeming thing to come from that trip)




It should be noted that the musical choices are VERY deliberate. The climbing took place the morning of the super bowl and we were talking about how all the "cool kids" put up videos of them sending V14 with the contractually obligated indie hip-hop song from that band you're not cool enough to have ever heard of.

Nothing against this philosophy. I figure if you can send v14 you can do whatever the hell you'd like with that video. You deserve it. But I still would like to see Woods or Robinson or Pringle or Graham put up a Miley Cryus song maybe with some unicorns and butterfly transitions in their most recent FA of a v13 campus-only problem.





But once Ben had put these videos to share up on "Stalkerbook" he was sent this nice little note:

Hello, We have removed your video entitled "Boulder 13" uploaded at 4:20am February 2nd, 2009. We did this because we learned that your video might include copyrighted material owned by a third party, such as a video clip or background audio. If you are the copyright owner, or have permission from the rights holder to upload and distribute this material on Facebook, you may file a counter notice of alleged infringement by following the link below. "Please note that if you re-upload this video without filing a counter notice, or if you upload another video that infringes on the rights of a third party, our system will again remove the content. This could cause your access to the Facebook Video application to be disabled, or your Facebook account to be disabled. To file a counter notice: XoXo "The Facebook Team"

This cracked me up more then angered me. Of course I see the irony in being brought down by a Tony Bennett song after thinking Vanilla Ice woulda been too damn cliche. Although when I give in and buy a new camera I will post everything on Vimeo. Is there really any other reason besides a larger random viewership to posting on Vimeo instead of YouBoob?

(BTW, I'm this close to just deleting my facebook account simply because of the "status update" bullshit. Fuckin shit, 4 posts in a single day about your hubby washing the poo off of your kid's toes is fucking disgusting. Also every time you go shopping, then get to the shopping mall, then leave the mall, then arrive at home...DOESN'T require a status update!!!)


It's just viral narcissism at it's worst. I've already removed one (supposed) friend because of that shit. I counted and I've got 9 status updates.....IN THE PAST 10 MONTHS.

I know people that won't get through tomorrow afternoon without doubling that. No exaggeration. I'm now checking it twice per week max unless someone actually reaches out to me with a pertinent message.

Sigh....anyways....hence the rationale behind the music in our videos, corny as hell but implied modesty was the ultimate goal.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

My Puppy

3 days ago my dog passed away. She was pushin 14 years I think.

While she had been sick for the last couple months I'm glad she held on this long. I got to see her a little over a month ago while in Arizona.

She was like all members of our family in that she was built for the outdoors. We would never have a dog that always wasn't a happy, healthy, desert hiking partner.

She was a pure bred australian shepherd.....so she didn't even have a tail.

I lost a friend in a freak accident a month ago and my only remaining grandma is probably on her way out soon (at this point, I'm convinced old jewish grandparents can hold on for ever if given a combination drip of matza ball soup and manischewitz).

Regardless I'm a very happy up-beat kinda fellow. We all lose people, friends, family....but we smile. For who they were, what they did, and hopefully where they are now.


Time for a happier story.

People who know me well enough rarely see me drink heavily. I like a beer with dinner or while outdoors. But I'm usually the sober guy driving people back from Scottsdale on bar nights. I say that I've been drunk maybe 4 times in the 5 months I've been out here.

But I drank almost a whole bottle of pinot grigio after hearing about the dog and watched the suns get destroyed by the 76'ers, and laughed mostly about better times.

I don't even like wine usually, but it was left over and staring me down from the bottom of my fridge.

This got me to thinking about an old drinking story. A favorite of mine.

When you are able to grow a beard at an early age, by the time you are 19 and you have a fake id in the town of Flagstaff Arizona....getting into bars really isn't an issue. I really didn't like to drink at that age. It was just that all of my friends were older then me and I wanted to join the social scence at the bars.

Now this ID of mine was a real one. Meaning it scanned, showed up under the lights etc. However it wasn't mine. It was my buddys' Trevor. Since he was of age and I looked enough like him there was never a problem and I got into the local dives without fail for almost a year and a half.....until a week before my 21st b-day.

I believe it was around St. Patty's day and I attempt to walk into Maloney's Irish Bar downtown (ironically, a place I ended up becoming head D.J. and working for almost a year later). Now I had gotten in here at least 20 times without fail.


The bouncer looks at my ID, takes one short look at me and says, "this isn't you". Then pockets it.

I try to play it off, "of course that's me, man!!" I say with a grin on my face.

He replies with, "Ok. If it's you then go get a cop and I'll give it back to you".

At this point I'm trying to figure out how he knew so damn quickly. I walk off, leaving my date with her friends and head somewhere else, sans-fake ID. I just couldn't figure out what changed with this bouncer.

About a week later my buddy Trevor (the guy whose ID this was) calls me up and says, "Hey man. Did you try to get into Maloney's only to be sent packin". I said, "yeah, but how'd you know?".

Of course, I should have seen this coming living in a small mountain town with a small tight-knit community, but it turns out the bouncer and Trevor and good friends. Trevor continues to tell me that this bouncer calls him and says that some kid tried to get in using "your" ID but he knew it wasn't you. Trevor then laughs and explains to him, "yeah man, cause that was Tim. I GAVE him my ID for that exact purpose."

They had a good laugh and the bouncer actually apologized to Trevor, saying "had he known....".

The irony of using a fake ID for over a year and only getting it snagged 9 days before your 21st birthday.....well this nostalgic memory is making me smile again.....


R.I.P. Sara-Bella

Korean War Memorial In The Snow

As mentioned in a previous rant, on a recent miserable and cold snow day I wandered out to see some of the monuments before sunset. Yes, I live that close to these monuments and I often forget just how lucky I am to have this privilege. I actually live about 8 football fields away from the Pentagon which could be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it from a safety standpoint.

I have a camera. It's not mine. I got it for free.



It's an old school Kodak Easy Share that has a 125 mb memory card (it wouldn't take anything larger). This means I can get maybe 80 pictures in of acceptable quality before it turns into the flinstones mobile.

I'm not a great photographer and I certainly don't have the right weaponry for taking quality level shots. I just try to take shots that either people don't usually go for. Or I have to struggle a little to get the shots. This trip involved the latter.

I took the metro the the national mall and walked not quite 2 miles through a very slight 34 degree wind filled early dusk. I've always been fascinated with the Korean War Memorial and so few people think of it out of the context of M.A.S.H.

I like people to interpret photos and art for themselves since I have no talent whatsoever. I just enjoyed the stark, almost morbid, feeling this place gave off in the snow. Humbling to say the least.

(My personal top 3 from the shoot can be found at the bottom of the post)

Feel free to leave feedback on your thoughts as well.

(Click to enlarge all photos)

Above is the only shot of me. Taken by a stranger who owned a much nicer SLR of some type. I felt confident he wouldn't run off with my p.o.s.

(Below are my personal Top 3)

Super Bowl Sunday

I woke up early to a sunny day at 9am to go bouldering in the snow, but that will be an entire post on its own since there is already video being edited on how to top out in mixed snow and ice on a v3....

It should be noted that despite my best skepticism about the Cardinals in a previous blog I should give credit where credit is due. The game ended exactly how I wanted it to. They played a great game officiated by Pac-10 referees and almost won it despite what seemed like 37 dumb penalties. But I must recognize my bias.

If the Cards were to have won it, then that would mean the Suns and Coyotes would be the only locals not to acquire a ring. And the way Matt Barnes is chucking up threes that barely hit glass....I'd put my money on Wayne Gretzky's Ice Dogs.



Regardless, kudos to cards fans. Don't break your ankles jumping off of the bandwagon too fast.....

The highlights/lowlights were the commercials. For the most part they sucked....even after 5 beers I couldn't get excited about most of them.

The Transformers, GI Joe, and Star Trek trailers did nothing for me. I'll still see them of course with the anticipation of an excited child in order to stimulate the economy and put a few more punches on my man card. I'm sure the movies will all be bad ass, especially Star Trek.

The commercials had a lot of horses, random animals, sexual innuendos sponsored by a url-hosting site, and apparently the implication that the next coming of Bob Dylan is Will.i.am.

If this is the case for our musical generation then you might be better off dropping your radio in the bathtub next time you wash up.....

My favorite commercial goes to the E-Trade baby and his new duet partner. The subtle humor of having a cute black baby go acappella on a Mr. Mister song is right up my alley.....





The other gem in "Nannerpuss". I think it gets better with every time you watch it on your computer (Watch closely as his eyeball gets slapped off by one of his arms). It sneaks up on you with its low budget and terrible song but come on....it's a banana puppet held up by strings straddling a stack of pancakes. I'm not sure of the innuendo here, but it gets three thumbs up from me.

Denny's - Call Me Nannerpuss | Viral | SPIKE.com

The final and most memorable moment of the whole Superbowl goes to what I'm now dubbing the "monorail". The Boss is great and still rocks relatively hard for his age (72ish?) but the moment him and his greased up leather pants go sliding into third base (the camera) to avoid the tag for the final out of the inning is priceless.

He looks down to see that he's just given a black eye to one camera man and a crotch shot to millions more. Then he looks right into the camera with a goofy childlike grin as if to say "that was hilarious and I'd laugh about it if I didn't have to get back to lip-synching the rest of this set". I'm still not sure if this was an intentional move on his part and it seemed candid and unscripted for sure, but that could just be Bruce being Bruce.

Enjoy the video before it is taken down by NBC...