The Others.....

There are those that are better then me. There I said it.

I'm not smart or all that witty and I have the same writing skills I did in 7th grade Honors English.

I chose a while ago that I didn't want this blog to be anonymous and wasn't opposed to throwing a mug shot up every once in a while. I think it provides for a sense of inclusion, that friends know this is the real me.

This also helps because it works as a form of self-imposed censorship. If this blog were completely anonymous it would get a lot more flagrant, sexual, and offensive in nature. And while this surely would be fun, I tend to find a happy medium with my Rules.

OTHER BLOGS

Now that this is out of the way, I thought it would be time to give a note out to others. Almost all of them have either a much better grasp on the english language or a much nicer camera then I do......sometimes both.

For the 25+ people that I've come to find actually read this blog, your time has come. And Klime, rest assured an entire post will be dedicated to your work, support, passion, and overall badassness.


First off needs to be Benny-Boy over at Disjoint Thoughts. His blog is much cleaner lookin, he actually gets to climb and takes professional quality shots since he still lives in the warm dry area of the country, and most importantly he is the main influence for getting me to start sharing my thoughts.

Topics: Climbing, technology, photography, and drinking. Sometimes together....
My Favorite Post: The Annual Wenny Awards- The Best and Worst routes of 2008

----------

Next off is another "Ben" at Go Big or Go Home. A teacher of your children, climber of your rocks, and jack of all trades. A local that I befriended out here in Virginia and has a great candid style to his blog.

Topics: Climbing, Tim Tebow's erotic physique, and everything in between.
My Favorite Post: Almost Wobbled

----------

I met a very cool character named Glen while climbing at Red Rock who writes at Prickles & Goo. Another very talented photographer and climber (seeing the trend here) who is lucky enough to live somewhere warmer then I.

Topics: Climbing and Food. I was sold.
My Favorite Post: Sharkwalk

----------

These three get the most pull because they post the most often. You (you know who you are) that only blogs once every month, get on it. I'm shooting for at least once a week.

Others include my "Foolish" buddy Dave at Tour de Dave, and Arizona childhood buddy at Zack at Zack is Becoming

----------

Lastly, there are the topical blogs that are just my style. I liken it to reading the "rags", those magazines about celebrity gossip and 2 headed children, but with much better content.

My favorite of these is the eternally optimistic Phoenix Suns fans at Bright Side of the Sun, the cynical Why.I.Hate.DC, the crazy escaladores at Climbing Narcissist and Dabtronics.

There are many other blogs of personal interest that really don't have a single topic besides being all around bad ass and manly like The Fukerton.

With so many great blogs being put out by famous and semi-famous people (not those written and edited by a publicist), it's a slightly voyeuristic opportunity for us all to actually give our thoughts some proper context rather then changing your F#@%in facebook status message every 45 seconds about how it's snowing.

(I've updated my status 7 times in the past calender year, stop it...just stop it. Also please take this opportunity to delete those pictures you took of yourself in front of a mirror posing, no one gives a shit.)

Snow without Sunsets in Alaska (sitting on right side of photo for perspective)

Yeah, it snows out and you can't drive that's so damn original. What valuable insight. How come I'm from Arizona (I will admit to spending the last 5 years living in a mountain ski town and a few seasons in Alaska where it snowed in July however) and I'm not phased by the powder?

Either go stand under a window awning and wait for an icicle to fall through your eyeball or if it misses you pick it up and stab yourself in the ear with it, or shut up and do what I did......


.....walk/metro to work, then bail out early afternoon, walk through the freezing snow and spend the last 2 hours of sunlight paying your respects at the Korean War Memorial and wait till dusk to take pictures of the Lincoln Memorial/National Reflecting Pool while smiling about how beautiful life can be at certain moments.....

(Photos to follow soon)

What do Atheists yell during sex?

It's a damn fine question.

Now despite both of my parents being jewish, I grew up without any affiliation with an organized religion. My parents are just good hippies from New York that gave my brother and I options if we chose to pursue a religious path. Paramount to this though, was their belief that we grow up to be kind & caring human beings.

I feel I've done ok so far and would/have never judged someone based on their beliefs. Hell....I even believe in God (I just realized the irony in that sentence). I just believe that God is too big for just one religion.



I've come to find that my favorite kind of people are those that are able to find humor in the outward stereotypes regarding their particular religion. Some of the best comedy comes from this practice and it also provides for a sense of inclusion for those that are normally skeptical about learning anything else about someone else's beliefs that are not their own.

Some of my own favorite jokes are self-depricating jewish jokes. Would we even have Seinfeld if it wasn't for this kind of humor. Believe it or not I just took this picture of the original "puffy shirt".....in the friggin Smithsonian Jerrrryyyyyy.



Maybe the best way to create understanding is through humor. No one, in my humble opinoin, is better then that of Stephen Colbert's character (he's just in character so much you forget that).

If you enjoy him as much as I do, then you'll appreciate this interview with Lori Lippman Brown, director of Secular Coalition for America.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a Lobby - Atheism

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

And God Bless America.

Inauguration Day

There are too many topics in my noggin to actually get it all in on one blog. My suns are being dragged down by Amare, Michael Bidwell has redeemed his family's name, I've had Navy friends sleepin on my couch for the past week, and there were just a few extra tourists in D.C. this for some reason.

When doing shots this past weekend I proposed a simple toast.

"AZ reunion in Adams Morgan"

"The Cardinals are in the Superbowl and the U.S. has a black president: To 2009, the year we witness things I never thought possible!"

But the weirdest day of all took place yesterday on inauguration day and started out seemingly normal.

Knowing I was going to need to get to the metro early despite heading away from the district towards Alexandria, I was not prepared mentally for what I witnessed. Now I apologize that the camera I was just given didn't come with a usb cord so until I track one down I can't put up some strange pictures of the night.

For now, go ahead and browse Here for some much better pro-phos of the events then whatever I would take.

The metro at Pentagon City around 8:10 am had people lined up about 1,000 or so deep. This didn't include another few hundred that were just waiting on the train platform itself. The final numbers on the record breaking day for Metro was somewhere around 900,000+ yesterday.



After quite a few minutes of hearing cops with riot gear yell at people to stand back and not crowd the doors I made it through alive on the other side of the platform.

Despite the fact that everyone else including local government offices got the day off and despite the fact that our organization which does consulting with government grants....required that I come in to provide much needed labor.

No worries. Just pretty damn happy to have a job in this economy, period.

Now I didn't want to go to any events that required "pomp & circumstance", it's just not my style. There is enough narcissism in this town already thanks. I don't mind playing dress up for work related events, but you just won't see me dressing up and paying $200 to go to the MTV Sponsored Youth Ball to see Kanye, Kid Rock, and Fall Out Boy (none of whom are exactly on my "to see list" despite being invited to attend).

Ironically that ball targeted youth aged 18-35, I just always thought MTV as a channel targeted 14-21 with bad reality show programming and cookie cutter shitty pop music. But then again I'm just a guy that misses folk like Brad Nowell, Duane Allman, and Miles Davis. Plus the concert I wanted to see with Michael Franti and Talib Kweli sold out fast and was gonna be a bitch to try to navigate my way through the district.

"There is so much 'win' in this photo that words do no justice"

So my coworker/friend/wingman Melinda and I compromised and head to the Clarendon Grill which was doing a WJFK radio sponsored inaugural drinking night as a benefit to Ronald McDonald House Charities. The philanthropist in me is always looking for creative ways to spend/give away my meager income and figured this would be a great one.

Plus it was black tie optional so I wore the old jeans and blazer. Comfortable and happy.

A great cover band "Road Soda" was playing and drinks were reasonably priced. Most importantly I stayed on the Virginia side of town and was therefore able to avoid the mobs.

The night takes a turn for the weird around this time.....

After a good time at the bar listening to the band and dancin I head back to the Metro. Before I reach the turnstile a man stops me in broken english and mostly spanish and asks for some help. The amount of conversational spanish this gringo from Arizona knows is poquito to say the least. Just enough to not get my ass kicked in Rocky Point and order a decent burrito that won't get spit in at Amados.

He has a metro card but it seems he can't figure out how to put money on it. I bring him up to the screen which says "insert cash" but he either doesn't have any or doesn't want to. I ask him if he has a tarjeta...visa, am.exp. etc. We hit a wall in our efforts.

"My view of the Inauguration ceremony"

In the spirit of change and hope, I just snag his card and put $10 from my visa on it. He looks at me puzzled as though I am about to now steal his card and run. Instead I walk him to the platform, ask him where he works in his cocina down the street and he asks me if he can pay me back.

No necesita.

Overhearing this is a group of three middle aged women whom smile approvingly. I make small talk with one since I've had 4 drinks and find out that she is a state senator from New Hampshire. I talk about my work dealing with education and workforce development and find out she's the chair for her state in education. I'll keep her name private for anonymity but she encourages me to send my resume along.

I'm feeling pretty good about the way the night is wrapping up until I transfer at Rosslyn and see another middle aged asian women grab an armrail as if she's struggling to breathe hunched over. I ask if she needs help, doesn't even turn around to acknowledge me, and proceeds to throw up all over herself and a trash can.....

Nothing quite as classy as seeing a $300 fur coat and 6 inch heels covered in vomit.

It's time for a change.....of clothes!!!!

(side note for above joke: overused and no longer amusing. Please let this political catch phrase go the way of the Bush administration and fade off into the sunset, never to be heard from again).

Red Rock Photo Teaser

Peter North Pump Variation? (v5)

My throat is closing up and I'm feeling sick. Work has only gotten more crazy and I'm still trying to sort through about 400 photos and a couple videos from Red Rock. So think of this as a photo teaser until I can get an adequate post up about the experience.

The ratings on these do not constitute a send, they are merely ratings for guidance. The hardest thing I really worked repeatedly and eventually sent over these two days was "Classic Monkey" (v6). I even had witnesses and a video to post once I figure out how.

"Caliman" (v7), "The Pearl" (most stout and overworked 30 year old John Long classic v4), and "Monkey Pinch" (v4)....all did not go.

Alas this is the problem when you only have 1 full day to work problems with a hangover and vegas buffet food stirring inside your soul.

Monkey Pinch (v4)

Caliman (v7)

Caliman @ Sunset

Potato Chips (v2)

The Cube (various highballs v3-v9)

(Only tools cut their feet to pose....)


The Pearl (v4+++)

Classic Monkey (v6)- Click to enlarge for scale

A Boulderers Guide to Vegas

While an upcoming post will include the actual bouldering aspects of my recent (and sorely needed) trip to Red Rock Canyon, I thought I would first reflect on my trip out there. This will also include recommendations on what I considered to be an excellent, however brief, trip Vegas.

Now I realize this may not coincide with what is acceptable in true "broke climber" fashion, so I apologize in advance. But I am not the same outdoorsman I once was. The former me (the same one that used to be a park ranger in Alaska) would have driven out there and car camped it up at the crag with a 24 pack of sam adams winter lager and woke up at sunset to send with a solid hangover....honestly the best way to boulder.

The man I am now however doesn't fit the build of hippie flagstaff/grand canyon backpacking guide which I once was. My WFR is expired, I work as a researcher while wearing business slacks in D.C. , and I have a small but sustainable paycheck for the first time....well ever.

Maybe most telling is the fact that I chose the title for this blog after coming to the harsh realization that I'm stuck indoors since the climbing season out here in the swamps is so short in contrast to my desert home. I'm happy to get to the Gym 3-4 days a week, it's just not the same. It's ok, I've become very Zen about my situation and leaving my car in Arizona has been a big part of it.


However my younger brother and companion on this trip, James, was sporting a serious fever and I was just proud he made it out with me regardless. So we agreed that staying off the strip (as far west as we could in order to be closer to Calico) would be the best idea.



There is the Red Rock Casino which sits very close to the canyon but any self respecting climber should not stay there. Nothing against the hotel itself, I'm sure it's wonderful. We even ate a decent buffet there and James donated $2 to their slot machines. But no matter how much money I made (and I make nowhere near enough to stay there) I couldn't stay at any place that nice and still carry the moniker of a "boulder holder". A quick browsing of their website lists rooms in the $200-$350/night range for March if you're thinking a spring break escape to the canyon.

So the compromise would be to stay in a dive and not camp it out in order to help the younger bro heal up. Enter Arizona Charlies on Decatur.


A perfectly trashy establishment located far enough off the strip that you don't deal with any tourists and filled with enough chain-smoking bingo players to satiate any climbers palate for the strange and bizarre. If all this wasn't good enough, our room with 2 queen beds only ran for (I shit you not) $34.99...total. Now the second night was a bit more expensive at $79 but I believe this was only due to the fact that it was so close to New Years eve (the night of Dec. 30th).

Regardless, 120 some odd dollars for 2 nights and only dropping $60 once split between 2 people (which my brother still owes me) blew my mind. I imagine being able to comfortably fit 4 people total in this room if they were boulderers of the right mind set that realize we're only in there after a day of climbing and drinking, crashing anywhere on the floor is a welcome relief.

There are two unique features of AZ-Chucks that climbers like ourselves appreciated.


The first is that it is a straight shot down Charleston Rd. that gets you to the canyon in 15 minutes. I love the contrast that is Vegas. Bright glitz with lights surrounded by this conservation area that looks exactly like Sedona but ironically without all the tourists slowly destroying it. My first trip to Red Rock was almost 5 years ago now and even driving the loop, watching out for wild burros, and hiking Ice Box canyon was incredible.The second love I gained for our hotel was indeed the bingo. Now, I have a nostalgic memory of our mom taking us to play bingo with her at a local Kiwanis club for retired residents of Pine/Strawberry Arizona. My mom is even more jewish then I am when it comes to gambling and she did this only because she loved to be with her kids. But she went all out buying a $10 bingo card, 50 cent sodas, and free popcorn!

We never won very much but it's full of childhood memories of my strange of loving parents I'll cherish forever. Even the local retirees were kind enough to give me fake bingo sheets to play along enough though I think we weren't allowed to be in the room by law.

The "Chucksters" bingo players lay down some serious game though. They don't take shit from anyone. We walked into a room of over 100 people (my brother and I brought the average age down just a bit) filled with electronic machines and big screen tv's. I felt like a pitcher being called up from the minors to play at Yankee stadium.

The games moved so fast that we had to get the electronic cards in order to enjoy our beers, and yes......you get 2 free drinks just for sitting down and playing. Kudos to the grandparents playing the handheld dabbers cause I would have surely failed had I made a seriously inebriated attempt at that.

So you spend $15 for roughly an hour session, get two free drinks, and my brother was only 1 number away from winning $1,000!!! The anxiety was killing me as I almost won just $250 bones, but I knew that $15 would have gone down (and did) in a single 8 second hand of black-jackoff. Bingo was ultimately much more entertaining and was easily the non-climbing highlight of my trip.

I'm starting a new trend and I'm inviting others to jump on the band wagon. Drunk bingo and trashy hotels by night.... v7 boulder problems by day.

I'd get on the caboose before this trend leaves the station for good.

You've gotta be kidding me.....You've gotta be kiddin me

Ironically after writing about the CDD (christmas day dissapointment) of the suns in my last blog, I was able to watch the highlights of the game against the Pacers last night.



My thoughts as a realist is that Steve was not 100% healthy yet, Shaq didn't play, J-Rich is coming off his DUI, Barnes went 2-10, Fropez needs to be put in the D-league, and Sweet Lou is our new silent assasin that shot 17% from the free throw line but contributed everywhere else.

All that being said, a great win for Indiana and kudos to them and Danny Granger.


Now onwards to securing the 7th or 8th seed!!!

Dear Continental Airlines....

I just sent this exact same letter off to Continental Airline customer relations. I anticipate an interesting response if any......

...."I just returned to Washington D.C. after over a week of vacation in my home state of Arizona. Now I realize most letters your airlines probably receives tend to have negative undertones to them, but not this one.

I flew out of DCA on christmas day as I could not afford to spend the extra $150-$200 to fly out on christmas eve like a normal heathen/non-practicing jew whom nonetheless has already celebrated christmas day with a plastic tree which adorns a star-of-david on its crown made of Popsicle sticks and glitter from circa 1991.

At the airport you overbooked the flight by a few people which I realize is standard procedure on busy travel days. Now I was scheduled to get on a connecting flight in Houston around 7pm after a 3 hour layover there before finally leaving for Phoenix. I simply explained this situation to the gate agent and told him that as long I could make this connecting flight, that I would be happy to be bumped.

Now my ulterior motive was to be able to sit in the airport bar in D.C. and watch my Phoenix Suns play 47 minutes and 56 seconds of winning basketball against the San Antonio Spurs. Luckily, I was able to do so as your very kind gate agent got me on a flight around leaving 5pm instead 3pm. The best part is that I was still able to make my connecting flight in Houston and didn't even have to spend more time in that lovely airport while still getting my mandatory $200 flight voucher.

So I got into Arizona the same time as I had originally planned, walked with a $200 voucher and grab a beer while watching the purple gang from phoenix give a game away to Roger Mason.





The story does not end here however.....

On my return flight scheduled to leave from Sky Harbor at 6am (which I barely made after waiting at the security check behind roughly 150 pre-pubescent members of a high school marching band which participated in the fiesta bowl parade) I was asked this time by your gate agent if I would give up my seat to Cleveland. I said this would be fine as long as I was able to make it to D.C. some time that night.

Again, your gate agent was incredibly accommodating and was very appreciative of me willing to give up my seat. He was able to get me to D.C. after a 5 hour layover in Newark. Now while one of my few goals in life is to spend as little time as humanly possible inside the state boundaries of New Jersey, I reluctantly accepted.

This time however I was offered $300 as well as a first class seat from Jersey into DCA. I took advantage of this brief first class opportunity by drinking 3/4 of a free heineken and proceeding to pass out from exhaustion.

So in closing, I would like to thank you for the $500 worth of vouchers, getting me to my destinations safely, and especially your surprisingly kind gate agents.

I'm not sure what kind of drugs you give them that allow them to tolerate and even smile condescendingly while middle aged "Yentas" curse at them....but I would like to be offered some of those as well the next time I am bumped from a flight."